I learned that 90% of the time Dr's are guessing or are wrong. When we were told last January Avie did not have a stomach we were SHOCKED. It was beyond understanding, I had never even heard of something like that. Much to our surprise and relief 2 weeks later it was there, I still think somehow this was tied in with her cleft....but what do I know.
I learned that generally people do not know what to say when there is a problem. I bet I heard 500 times "things could be so much worse". Looking back I know that, but in those moments when our sweet baby had the cleft and a hole in her ventricle, and our other one had the stomach virus our entire first week home, it was hard to see that it could be any worse.
I learned that most people care, but from a distance. My parents, Donald's parents, Lisa M, Laurie, Ginny, Melis, my sister and her family, Donalds sister, Donald's Aunt Cathy and Uncle Buddy, and my coworkers are not those people. They did everything they could to make us comfortable and try to put us at ease with the situation. The first few weeks we did not want Avie to be flat (I was terrified if she spit up it would go in the opening and she would choke) so one of us was up all the time. I remember Lisa and my parents listening to me cry (ok hysterically cry) at the hospital, I am not one to feel sorry for myself but even I have a weak moment. I remember Laurie spending a whole day with me, and letting Donald and I take a MUCH needed nap. Sometimes having your friend or family member their just makes things seem better.
I learned that strangers and their advice can put everything in perspective Krissy, Shannon, Mary, Heather, and Alison were able to give me some much needed advice on feeding and what to expect before and after surgery. Thank you so much!!
I learned, in the end, everything was ok. It would have been nice to seen how things turned out today when we she was born.
I learned that there are times when Dr's are right. We all had to deal with the news of Mr. Mike's cancer. The Dr's told him he had a short time, only 6 months. Everyone who knew him learned to pray fervently. I will miss Mr. Mike!!
I learned that life is never what you expect it to be, no matter how much you plan and get ready for something it never goes according to that.