Monday, September 08, 2008

High and Mighty....give me a break!!!

WARNING...some may be a bit with it!!

This is to all the stay-at-home moms who think they are raising the smartest, well rounded, and above all else most loved children. To you I say, GIVE ME A BREAK!! I work, long days and long hours, I bring work home with me most every night...and guess what, I still love and take care of my girls.

My friend Billye (AT WORK) and I often talk about how many times working moms are looked down upon b/c we are not with our kids 100% of the time. Let me just say when I had Avie and was home for 4 weeks I about went INSANE!! I seriously have no idea what I am suppose to do all day long, yes I had the cleanest house, no laundry, cooked every night and stayed caught up on every news story to hit the waves....but where does that get you in life....When Amelia got out for the summer we about drove each other stark raving mad.

I am sure there were a lot of notorious people whose moms stayed home with them...some bad and some good, but how do you know it is the best thing for them. They could turn out to be a criminal or worse yet they could not turn out to be much of anything because they always had their Mom there to________(fill in the blank)

I do not begrudge stay-at-home moms, just the ones who think they are better because of it. I like my job, I like the time away from my girls (yes I just typed that!!) because it gives me time to appreciate being with them when I get off work and come home.

So in the end, are you a better Mom b/c you stay home, probably not. Am I better Mom b/c I work and provide for my family, probably not. Do you love your kids more than I do b/c you stay home, no.

"To each, his own." to me that sums it up, whatever works for you, but just remember the next time you make/hear a comment about how you think you are a better mom b/c_______, you might not like what you hear in response!

And when I get a chance I will have to blog about my "discussion" with the Rx delivery man, and his views on socialized medicine!!


LaurieR said...

Audrey, I love you! Honesty is so refreshing! I can't wait to hear about the delivery man's view on socialized medicine!

tleaf10 said...

I'm a working Aunt and I think my neice is way smarter because of it! She's practically perfect in every way - just ask Melissa :)

Athen Bradford said...

might I add... why is it looked "down" upon that mothers that do work? Why aren't we praised for making that sacrifice to go to work and provide for our family so our child/children can have better than they may if we stayed at home. True, they would have “us” but who’s to say that our time isn’t best spent outside of the home… I for one think that children need that socializing that they may not get if they are home with mama… k, that my 2 cents…

Bev said...

Glory, glory, hallejeulia! This was a hot issue in ladies Bible classes when I was a new mom (32 years ago)--don't let anyone make you feel bad. Lots of stay at home moms do lots of extras and someone is attending to their kids. This issue will never die and there is NO correct answer. I've learned that opinions are like belly buttons--everyone has one! Whatever floats your boat! Lord knows when you lay down at night each of you feel you've done the best you could.

Anonymous said...

Wow, what idiot said something like that in the first place? Yes I am going to be nosy and say that at some point I have got to hear this story, but you don't have to tell me who thinks she deserves the "Best-Mom of the Year" award.

It is funny to me at how "we"(please note that I honestly do not think that I am a better mom b/c I do not have a full-time job outside of my "mom" one) "stay-at-home" moms decided that "we" are better because we quit our jobs when little Susie arrived in the world. I know people who like Bev said, "stay home", but someone else is still taking care of their kids; or the people who do it, but really can't afford to - what does that teach our kids about responsibility; or the people who complain ALOT about their kids getting on their nerves; yada, yada, yada!

I feel like I can look at both "sides" objectively because I did work when Bailey was born. I had to work because we truly could not afford for me to quit working, we had bills to pay, health insurance to provide, and the list goes on. I can remember "those" people who really thought their opinion on child care vs. "mom" care, mattered and how absolutely annoying and hurtful it was when they made me feel less of mom or that I was choosing myself over Bailey. I did what was BEST for our family at that time.

I am thankful that I was able to quit working because I enjoy doing what I do now, but that does not mean I am better because of it.

So I say all that to say - in my OPINION, everyone should do what they deem best for THEIR family and let the rest of the world do the same.

sara l. said...

I agree with you in the fact that each of us should make our own decision about this based on what we feel is best for our family.

Obviously, someone has said something that they shouldn't have about YOUR choice. And you don't like that people have put you down about your decision, however YOU are criticizing those of us that choose to stay at home in the same breath. That seems pretty unfair to me. This is not the first time you have made these type of comments, so that in itself makes me wonder.

I agree that "To Each,His Own" and I have never made any comment to or about any mother for the decision that they made. If your point was to say that you love your children as much as I love mine, I know that. A mother's love is not determined by whether you stay at home or don't. But why take cheap shots at those of us who choose to? That is offensive.

And as far as where all of those things that go along with being a stay at home Mom will "get me in life"...I will have the satisfaction of knowing that I made the right decision for my family. I hope that you can say the same.

The Holtons said...

HOLY COW!!!! WHAT A HOT TOPIC!!!!! I don't think the media would agree with you. Sounds like they think we all need to stay home and take care of our children!

I think you are doing a great job with yours! Sometimes we just have to "consider the source" and go on with our lives! Love ya-

Jennifer Miller said...

I think you have a lot of good points in what you said. I think we all do what we feel like is best for our families - whatever we choose whether it be because we want to work or have to work. I feel like everyone needs not to be the judge. I wish you wouldn't take things so personally. We should all support each other as women doing the best we can or know how to do - I have the utmost respect for Sara Palin. I could never manage 5 kids and HOPEFULLY become our vp. I feel like staying home is a difficult job mentally and it's not for everyone. I feel like I am extremely busy staying at home by being active volunteering at the school and going on ALL fieldtrips for two kids and taking them to the Eye Dr., Orthondontist, guitar lessons, soccer, and football - not to mention the Homeowners Association Meeting for our neighborhood. It all comes down on what you choose to do and nobody should fault you for your descions and what you feel is best for your family.

Cheryl said...

Way to go Audrey! i agree with you 100%. I have done both and both were difficult. There are good and bad on both sides. One thing is for sure i wasn't doing "MY" kids any justice by being around them all day. They needed a break from me. They are older now and have devloped in to loveing and carring teens and preteens. I wouldn't and couldn't ask for better children. Ofcourse they do things wrong sometimes but thats how you learn.
Again very refreshing!!!

Jill said...

I have been on both side's of this topic!! I have worked & stayed home!
During these times I had different feelings. If working...I should be at home....If at home....I need to go to work!!! I must say, I have felt guilt during each phase!! People have always had their opinions on this topic & I have been heard them all.
Audrey, I so understand the insurance side of this, being self-employed!
You are a great Mom, when at home or work! All of us are great Mom's,
not without failures, but doing what we must for our families, in what ever journey we are in at the time! Live your journey & enjoy it!
I love you & your girls are just precious! I am glad you work, because you know, I have to call &
ask u questions about the insurance!!!Did u get my email?